A Few Things I Learned (or Learned Better) in 2017

Every year is different for everyone, and we all (at least I do), learn new things all the time. Having said that, for whatever reason, this past year has been a time of re-discovery. When I think about it, I expect that part of the reason for that is that the last year (and part of the previous one), were when I felt most settled in Denver. 

As some of my fellow bloggers and readers know, moving is not just about moving. It's about learning a new place, settling in, making new connections,finding your place and more. Especially when you move somewhere that is a fair distance, and even when you are moving near family. We cannot, after all, rely only on family for our connections or our needs.

And so for the past year or so I have felt the most at home and the most connected. Which has allowed me to percolate if you will. And learned (and re-learned) a few things about myself, the world and large and life in general. From my perspective at least. To whit:

1. My appreciation of simply being, and being with has tripled or quadrupled. The need to do, go, and do more and go more is simply one I do not understand. I realize that from the outside, many reader think I have a fairly busy life. But I spend hours sitting, being, and sharing. And every time I reach out to do more (what some folks would call stretching myself, even) I find myself wanting simply be. This doesn't mean I don't challenge or stretch or learn. But it does mean I need a lot of "white space" for lack of a better term, in my life.

2.  It's okay to be out of balance, at least in the short term. This I suppose, follows one above. My individual days, or weeks are often not balanced. I may be a homebody concentrating on one thing or nothing for weeks and then suddenly have the life of a social butterfly for a week or so. I prefer to travel intensively and then be at home, rather than scheduling travel weeks throughout the year. Hey, it's who I am.

3. Other than God (I realize all my readers are not religious) family is the most important thing. Not a discovery, simply re-affirmation if you will. Whether it's the family we make or the family we are born with. And we should do whatever we have to, when we have to to keep those connections. I understand that some families have abuse and dysfunction and leaving things behind is the only choice. But I also see examples all over the web of folks simply shutting the door-at minor offenses, imagined attacks and more.

4. I am what I am who I am. And attempting to be anything or anyone else is silly. Do I want to be the best who I am that I can be? Of course. But trying to look forty, or dressing according to someone else's rules, or allowing other people to tell me how to behave or act my age is, well, not me. So if you see me next year at some point with gray hair and a lavender or green streak, with a second piercing, in yoga pants and a  silk tunic, why yes, that's me!

5. Judgment almost always comes from a place of privilege. Period.

6. Less is more, and stuff (I give exception to the stuff that creates experience) is simply stuff. And comfort trumps almost everything. It has taken me awhile to get to this place, especially being an artist and crafter who works in fabric, yarn, metal, paint and more  and keeps all of those materials in one room (and who got a new kitchen appliance and pan for Christmas). But I've embraced my own small version of project 333, and I've decided that except for the slowly dying couch and the little pergola repair out back, my little 1960s house is mainly fine the way it is. And stuff leaves my home at a much higher rate than it comes in.

7. Words matter, and intelligent discourse is just that. People who need to throw insults, use profanity and point fingers do so because they never learned another way to communicate. And change and action are generally only permanently successful when intelligent discourse is in play. Take from that paragraph what you will.

8. Within reason (not sure  I'd want to do a full scale move again) I can change my version of retirement whenever I want. It's my retirement, after all. So if this year I want to travel, next year  want to stay home and the following year I want to snow bird, that's okay. Because hey, It's my retirement and mine alone.

9. As a fellow blogger said somewhere, it's okay to color outside the lines. Regularly and often

10. It's okay not to have a passion or passions. I don't have one particular interest, hobby or desire that rules all others in my personal life. Instead, I have lots of things I like to do, and more than a few things I love to do. It's okay. That said, that same philosophy can be a challenge when choosing a ministry or outreach area to concentrate on-an issue still under reflection.

11. Talk is cheap. If even a tenth of the people who express their views would actually do something about them, even something small, the world would be a different place.  I (and we) are surrounded by people who are happy to verbalize opinions and answers, but rarely willing to take a single step to bring those opinions or thoughts to fruition. As my daddy used to say, a vote to abstain is a vote against. So unless you are actively doing or advocating for whatever floats your boat (the right to abortion, the right to not have an abortion, the environment, heck, the noise from your local school already) then quit your bitchin'. We reap as they say, what we sew. Or not.

12. And finally, it's okay to say no. Without giving a reason. The word no is a complete sentence. And it's also okay to say yes.  Just because.