Sunday Afternoon

This morning I commented on another blog about how I may be becoming too comfortable at home. Honestly, I'm not even sure I know what that means and I don't say it too often because I do know others are struggling. Especially my kids and young students and workers the world over.

It's not because of introvert vs extrovert issues although those are easy labels to use. I mean, prior to lockdown I was managing a large retired women's group moving on 200 members and doing multiple weekly things with my people, along with going out to eat, knitting group, volunteering and other people stuff. And almost one year to the day, I was touring this retirement community and getting an up close view of all the stuff offered here and near (lunches, dinners, library, pool classes, movie theaters, game nights, day trips). I will be thrilled when I can do all the things I moved here for, don't get me wrong.

But I have always been anchored to home, even during the travel and party it up phases of my life, and no matter where home has been (and it's been in a few places). Even at the height of travel frenzy in Europe, most trips were two weeks and the one time we made it three weeks I was ready go home. It's one of the things that has had me holding back on the long "drive the entire gulf coast and then come home on a northern route" plan that is no on pandemic hold. More than half my hobbies can be done at home. I really enjoy my home, even this one that is not fully put together-I don't need things to be perfect in order to live and love being at home.

Even as I write this I know that I am blessed to be able to stay at home, and that for the majority of folks in the world, their life view of the pandemic is different and also tragic. I am the parent of  and the mother in law of people who have been directly affected by the pandemic (mainly to their detriment). No friends, no school, lost money, lost social life, lost so very many things,  Things need to change for them immediately, and it will be a very long and hard recovery process to gain some of the things they have lost. I have always come from the perspective that I am willing to isolate more and do without more if it enables them to get back to work and normalcy on some level.  As the parent of an adult with depression and one who is not necessarily socially comfortable in the best of times, I would give anything, including much of my comfort, for them to be able to return to normal. Sooner rather than later.

I'll have my second shot on the 19th of February and in theory ten days after that I'll be in the clear in a manner of speaking. For me right away that means maybe taking a longer country drive that includes refreshment  and potty breaks, actually going into quilt and yarn stores and touching all the things, maybe actually sitting on a patio with my daughter (also innoculated) and dining. At some point I may consider driving north to visit my son and load up the car again. All of these, of course, while still masking and sanitizing.

Eventually things will start reopening. I'll be looking forward to the heated pool, exercise classes, outside meals when I feel comfortable, and the activities at the center. Whether I will up my social activity to pre covid times is questionable. It was pretty frenetic, and I think I'll be more comfortable with the occasional lunch or happy hour, smaller group get togethers that in involve real conversations, and knitting with friends. And a road trip or two or three to someplace with real fresh seafood.

Meanwhile, I read (and read again). I watch TV (and watch TV again). I walk the forty minute plus park route in this community with my mask on and wave to the people I pass or who are sitting on their own patios. I sit on my patio and knit or read and chat with people as they walk by (the main reason I chose a more shady patio that faces the commons instead of one that faces the green space was so I could slowly meet people). I chat with my two zoom groups. I visit with my daughter and son in law although it's been awhile because of Covid. Next week if not today we'll be getting together for the Super bowl and since she's got the antibodies and the shots (both) I'm trying to decide if I need to mask or return to the mask-less state we used up until Christmas).

And I make the things. Not because I'm necessarily talented or have so much energy, but it because it relaxes me-and it works my brain. And I like to make the things. I am especially called these days to make the more utilitarian things, perhaps because of my new place. Today I cut large pieces of fabrics into squares to make cloth napkins. I am truly loving the single napkin that has two different blue fabrics with light and bright pink flamingos because flamingos are my thing. Said napkins will get dirty, be washed, get dirty and be washed again. But if I am going to have stuff around the house to be used, I want the stuff around the house to be used to be the pretty stuff (and bright, because bright is also my thing). Even the utilitarian stuff like napkins, coasters, fabric paper towels, tote bags,  eye make up remover pads, knitted washcloth and spa cloths heating pad covers deserve to be pretty. And fun. And bright.

And I am also making cake, obviously. Chocolate cake. And cheating with pancakes for dinner last night. And thinking about whether I will again make Valentine's sugar cookies for the family or just plain order Cheryl's. And measuring all the pictures for frames since some of the frames did not arrive in one piece. And trying to decide if I want to attempt to keep living things living on my patio or just get really large pots with dirt and decorative trees (you have to know me)!

This afternoon I need to try to  take at least a little walk, or open up the house to the fresh air and exercise inside if not. Sunday or no Sunday I need a walk through and pickup since I went to bed last night and left all the cans and glasses and dishes right where they were-and also since once again I did the fluff and fold that needs to be put away. 

Dinner tonight is less than original since I am cleaning out. Burgers form the freezer with hoagie buns because that's all I have and salad and fruit and possibly maybe chocolate cake. Tomorrow I get a new delivery from a new place and should have a review of the two places I tried along with a totally honest (and perhaps scary, I don't know) review and preview of the monthly food budget.

I've decided to expand my reading and alternate my juicy mysteries and such (along with my monthly anti racism book group) with some classics that I have yet to read, and have narrowed it down and now need to choose between Swan Song, Beloved, and Their Eyes Were Watching God. None of which I have read and all of which I want to read.

Now to choose