Sunday, October 22, 2017

I'm a Veteran-And I Understand" Taking A Knee"

I realize in advance that this particular topic may be more difficult for many readers than other political topics. Even for some of my more progressive readers.  I do find it interesting that when I lose or gain the most followers, it has to do with my support of refugees/immigrants or issues having to do with patriotism and race. Even so, there is never a better time than a football Sunday to face this topic head on, from my perspective. Next week, I'll be back to the no more than two posts a week, mainly on frugal topics. Meanwhile, even if this topic is difficult and pushes your buttons, I encourage you to think outside your own box when it comes to this issue. And please don't give up on me, frugality and rich retirement topics will return.

I am a veteran. I spent many years in active duty to my country-by choice. While I was in an admin/medical combination field rather than combat, the point remained that I was deployed, served in what was then West Germany along the wall at the height of the cold war, and understand what service means.  My husband was also a veteran of more than ten years-and who would have remained on active duty after had not his particular MOS or career path, been "civlianized" requiring him to leave the service and continue his work via the US Civil Service.

My husband spent his entire life working on military bases, here and in Europe. We spent over 20 years in Arlington, Virginia, near the Pentagon, and that includes September 11, 2001. When you could see the Pentagon in flames, knew people who died, had children who had friends who had parents who died. My husband spent a great deal of time facilitating funerals of military men who died young during that time.  And when he was doing his reserve duty, his job was as a military casualty officer-and yes, that means exactly what you probably think it means.

I spent from late 2001 to 2007 in Germany, with the First Armored Division-a unit that during that time deployed four separate times to the middle east, and where many soldiers died.  Empty boot ceremonies were not just an occasional thing.

I share all this to let you know that while I may joke regularly about my left wing hippy chick personality, I  know a great deal about up and close patriotism and the personal cost of that. I would say I have seen that up close more than the average American. Soldiers and soldier's spouses and children remain my largest personal circle, even if many of them are now from afar. And while some of them would disagree with this post, their Facebook postings say that at least an equal number would agree, make no mistake.

Put simply, I, along with many of my military and civilian patriotic friends, are not opposed to taking a knee.  This is because, frankly, many of us know the reality of what has happened in this country and is happening. And this is where I may offend some readers in full. Because if you don't understand that racism still exists in this country, that it may even be worse than it was five years ago, then you haven't been paying attention.  Or, again frankly, you need to get out more.  And if you don't understand that soldiers fight for equality as well as the right to protest (that's what freedom is about, after all), then we should probably have a conversation about respect, patriotism and rights (not all at the same time)!

My kids were raised in DC.  Where they were a minority (blonde haired blue eyed kids whose ancestors were British and German). Where they were privileged and knew it. Where they saw friends discriminated against-even when in a group where the white kids were ignored and the others harassed.  A year or so ago I asked my son what he would have done if he were walking home from school and someone had yelled "Hey you, stop".  He always wore a hoodie while walking home from middle school. His instant response to that question was "to run straight home or to someone I knew".  And if he had said "secuity guard" or  "neighborhood watch"?  "If they don't have on a uniform, I'm not stopping. You taught me better". As did most of us. Adults coming toward you out of uniform are a danger-run away!  And yet, when a young man in Florida did the same thing, most likely because his mother or father told him to do so, he was "justifiably" shot for not stopping. 

To this day, my children know that they are privileged-simply because of their skin color. And to this day, they see their friends treated differently in public-even when they are in attendance.  Last year (and this is a true story), someone in my son's college class said to him, "Really?  You actually have black friends?"  I don't think said son's mouth closed until he arrived home.

I have friends, who have "that talk" with their children everyday. Even though statistics show that in fact, doing what the cop says exactly does NOT give a better result. I had a long term friend actually tell me that she would not drive cross country with me on a certain route because it was dangerous for her and could endanger me. This is in a new century people, and neither she nor I are "punks""

I've watched more black men (and women) than I can say be killed, and not a single, not a single police officer has been found guilty of so much as a misdemeanor.  In fact, I would suggest the situation in Baltimore with the young man in the back of the vehicle is frighteningly similar to a scene in the movie Cry Freedom. On the other hand, I saw a young white man who shot a church full of black people allowed to call his "mommy" and be taken to get a burger. I defy anyone reading this to tell me with a straight face that if the races had been changed, the result would not have been changed. The evidence is limitless, and getting worse every day.

Now, the common arguments are both that these are spoiled rich guys, and/or that they should "find another way". To the former I would simply say that if you don't think wealthy folks or middle class folks experience racism, even violent racism, you again have not been paying attention. Would a white tennis player have been thrown to the ground and brutalized because he looked like a criminal (after all, we actually have as many white criminals as those of color in this country, including violent criminals)?  Has it ever, ever happened that a prominent white athlete has been stopped for "being in the wrong type of neighbor hood", or "Because his car was too expensive?"  You're gonna have to show me that one.  

In the NFL, black athletes are arrested ten times as often as white athletes. That alone says it all. Black athletes (and public folks) are also the parents of young black children, and they know  what can happen to them. Need I say more?

And finally, the "find another way" argument. They've done that. And it hasn't worked. That, my friends, is up to you, and to me. Not to them. If you approve of Jeff Sessions, a man who in recent history said that the KKK was a "patriotic" organization, you are helping to perpetuate the issue. If you accuse the folks of color defending themselves against white supremacists (the two sides argument), you are perpetuating the problem, If you say to yourself "well he had a record", or "well he should have listened" when a young black man is shot, I would suggest you are perpetuating the issue. Few of us have perfect children with perfect records who have never been stopped if even for speeding. Do we really think our children don't get treated differently? If you walk across the street, the same. I could go on. Racism should be everyone's problem and until it is everyone's solution,  nothing will change.

And as far as that patriotism thing?  Feel free to stand and put your hand over your own heart before you watch the Word Series or the most recent football game, before you judge others (you already do that, right?). And make sure to get rid of those clothes that have flags or look like flags (totally against flag and military code) and express your displeasure with the waving flat flag on TV (flags are supposed to be upright at all times unless they are in distress). But anyone who had a scout or was a scout should know those things already-you don't need military experience to know how to treat the flag.

And if you want to actually support the military? Write your congressman or woman and ask them to spend some of that military budget on actual troops and their families instead of on equipment and overhead for a change. Don't allow congress to change benefits for soldiers midstream. Visit and talk with or meet at an airport a soldier who has returned from combat, or even overseas.  When you see the veteran on the street corner with PTSD who also may be homeless, instead of ignoring him (or worse, trying to have him removed) try a little support, sympathy, and hey, even some money. Because outrage, no matter how well meant, is not "supporting the troops". Spend the Veterans Day coming up actually visting a veteran or veteran's organization instead of just looking at it as a day to sleep in or go shopping. Heck, just call a veteran you may know or live near and say "Thank you".  Realize that the military oath says all kinds of things about serving, obeying and such, but nothing about dying. That happens as a side effect of the other oaths and is never wished for and rarely expeced. And finally, remember, as a reader as well as a friend reminded me after I wrote this, that the military has always been at the forefront of equality in general and would be the first to oppose racism of any kind in their ranks.

Readers regularly remind me that we are a Christian country, after all. To those Christians I would simply say that according to the Bible (begin with Paul) thoughts and prayers don't mean a blasted thing without specific actions that follow. Tell that young man or woman you will pray for them, sure. But then put your money, your mouth, your body, and your vote where it counts.

Again, i realize that many readers, even liberal ones may disagree with this perspective. But it was time for me to say it like it is.  And racism is something that affects us all in one way or another. Even those of us in our nice, white, frugal retirement enclaves. Or at least it should.

And if it'll make you all feel better, I promise to go back to frugality this week-including some major frugal failures never shared before. As always, I am happy to hear comments, even really awful, disagreeable comments on occasion. As long as my readers are not insulted and profanity is not used.


16 comments:

  1. Thanks for your heartfelt essay. I myself don't know anything about the military (except it was one of the first institutions to desegregate) or the police ... or professional sports for that matter. But I certainly see racism in our educational system where poor African Americans get the worst schools with the smallest budgets and the most problems. It would take a radical reorganization of our public schools to make a significant change. But maybe we should get started.

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    1. And I certainly should have added that about the militar. It was difficult at times, especially in the GI rank and file, but I went to a Department of Denfense high school in europe and kids were just kids. My personal perspective is that all the taxes should go into a big pot at the state level for schools, even propert taxes, Yea, there will still be inequalities between states but it's a start.

      And as badly as Texas deals with it's inequality, ten percent of school taxes of wealthy districts to poorer districts, and the top ten percent of students in ANY high school are automatically admitted to a state school. since Texas is filled with mega schools vs small rural schools this has made a large difference.

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  2. All I can say is well said and hear hear!

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  3. Excellent piece, as many people feel exactly as you do

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  4. Well said, Barbara.

    When black people speak out, people get angry. When they peacefully march, people get angry. When they peacefully protest, people get angry. When they get shot, no one seems to care.

    There is a great video on YouTube, where the speaker asks the audience if there's any problem with the way black people are treated in our country. No one raises their hand. She asks again, and no one raises their hand. Then she asks, "Well, if there's nothing wrong with it, how many of you would be willing to be treated the same way? Raise your hands." No hands go up. And she finishes by saying, "You're telling me there's no problem with the way black people are treated in this country, but yet none of you are willing to be treated the same way. That means YOU KNOW that black people are treated differently, and that it isn't good." The expression on the faces in the audience is priceless - I'm sure many of them never considered themselves racist.

    As a military family (both my husband and I served, as well as our parents and ancestors, all the way back to the Revolutionary War), the whole point of our service was to defend the Constitution and our country, not a flag or a song. There is absolutely nothing disrespectful about kneeling quietly during the national anthem. That right is guaranteed in the first amendment to our Constitution, and I would gladly go out and defend that right again.

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  5. I understand your choice to continue to pay for a sport that allows this variation of the rules for some players. I also understand other people's choice not to pay for the same thing. I don't really care, because I do not watch football. I, personally, have always felt the NFL was a racist thing in general. Where else, except boxing, do "we" pay to watch majority minority people get hurt on purpose? Quaterbacks (mostly white) have rules protecting them. Something to think about?

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    1. Janette, I would da that's true onl up to a point, the Quarterbacks tend to have the worse concussions. Brett Farve no longer appears becase he cannot necessaril even speak properly, so that "protection" is not as real as we seem. I wold agree that there is racism inside as well, which would be another reason I support kneeling. And I dont think the gal on ESpN should hae been suspended for suggesting that owners who forbad athletes from kneeling were exhibiting racism.. Jerry Jones dropped way down in m book. I'm frankly more concerned on the variation of the rules they have for using drugs and spouse abuse than the variations on kneeling. But yes, I admittedly love to watch football, even in all it's perfections.

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  6. I am a fellow female veteran who grew up in a military family. I 100% agree with you but wouldn't have been able to express it so eloquently. Thank you.

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  7. Hi Barbara! I so-o-o agree with you on all this. My husband is also a veteran and he feels the same way you do. While it is fine to feel proud of your country, it is equally fine and patriotic to question our leaders or some of the actions of our fellow Americans on a regular basis. That's actually what our country was founded on....and as far as the racism goes, it's time that all of us with white skin and privileged lives because of it acknowledge that others deserve the same quality of life as we do. As shocking and distressing as some of DT's actions these days, if anything it is only making something known that has been deeply buried in our country's psyche for far too long. I hope and pray that on the other side of all this turmoil is more equality and freedom for EVERYONE! Thank you for writing this post. ~Kathy

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  8. Well Said. Fantastic post. Thank you.

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  9. Brava Barbara and thank you! I appreciate your informed post.

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  10. Thank you for writing from the perspective of a veteran. Great post!

    Sheila

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  11. Wow, what a well thought-out, well-written and knowledge essay about a hot-button topic. I totally agree with your point of view on the kneeling and why it is occurring. I just don't understand why it is so hard for some people not to see this as a free speech issue and in no way is the kneeling meant to disrespect the military or the flag.

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Thanks for stopping by! I love to hear from others, and I also love to hear all points of view.. Just leave the profanity and insults at home, OK? Thanks!!