Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Older and Poorer

I am a woman who is comfortable, hell, more than comfortable in retirement. 

Anything I have not done in the past few years has been COVID or fear of flying related for the most part (with the two intersecting more than once). I can eat well, go to restaurants, go to the theater, travel, take care of my medical needs with ease (although that two hundred a month Jardiance bill was enough to kick start me in more ways than one).

 I’m not going flying first class to the far east or South America anytime soon. I'm not buying a designer outfit or a diamond ring or even an RV.  But in terms of both daily expenses and wants I tell myself no pretty rarely and when I do it’s as much about minimalism or sustainability or my own personal energy.

Some of this is true because chose to marry. Not all but a large part. Much of this is true because of my husband’s career. I did have some mismanagement issues early in my retirement (forced retirement before retirement age with minor children is an experience, let me tell ya). But I would not have had the money to raise kids without the job I could not find after I cared for him, or help them to go to school. I would not have had a pension, I would most likely not have had the savings I have or even the amount of monthly Social Security I have, had I not been married.

If I had not met the person I was supposed to be with, or never met anyone, if I had remained a single mom on the equivalent beginning teaching salary. Things would be much different. would 

A single parent, albeit an educated one, working in recreation management and child care with a borderline okay income and no benefits. Whose husband left one day and took everything with him. Who actually loved her job, loved her kid and mainly actually loved her life. A life that at that time, the most important financial time,  was without benefits, savings, child support or health care. Things might have gotten better. I believe I could  have progressed, gotten promoted, maybe found a way. I like to think so. But I'm smart enough to know they also might not have. At 32 with a kid entering grade school, nothing was going into the bank. And nothing was going into the bank anytime soon, even as a thrift shopping/cook from scratch/free entertainment mama. 

I was in a field that low pay and minimal benefits, getting no child support and no help. Saving 100 dollars a month would have been laughable. And would have been for a good while. I could have been one of those people working and slogging away until 70 (if I were physically able, which I am not). 

My husband just worked a regular federal job. But two incomes, even if one was much lower and even if there were two kids, made the difference between saving and not saving. For retirement or anything else. And a whole bunch of other things, financial and otherwise.

Which is why when I see men and women like I was then, now at 65 or 70, while I cannot relate the same now, I understand where they come from. And how they got there. And who they are. Women and men who worked in a school system and weren’t allowed to contribute to SS. Who were single parents whose partners disappeared, or could not or would not contribute. Who were disabled. Who had jobs that paid no benefits and whose income was swallowed by the price of making less. Or the cost of Cobra if they were let go early. Or, or, or.

My sister has a good education and a relevant degree. She is a hard worker, a really hard worker. She worked for a large newspaper in a two newspaper town for a great many years.  Eventually the newspapers combined and her newspaper was the one liquidated and the people set loose. With a couple months salary and no golden parachute, she was let go. She was not able to find a job that was much more than minimum wage for years, probably equally due to age discrimination and the dying newspaper business.

 The jobs she found were always through temp agencies or contracting jobs, minus sick leave or sick pay or medical benefits or vacation benefits. I paid for her to come and help me when John died.

In 2005 she had a decent investment account. That is long gone, all used to live on. To pay her mortgage, to pay her health care costs as she was now unemployed. Since 2007 she has constantly and consistently looked for work that is meaningful, pays decent and will keep her employed. Until the post pandemic employment jump she had not had a job with benefits. She had a very bad car accident with a severe concussion and could not even afford to have an MRI (I found about this afterward).

 She is talented, skilled, and of a certain age. Her head is barely above water. She most certainly will have difficulty when she can no longer work and is living on only SS based on her personal income and the hundred dollar or so pension she will receive from a decimated newspaper benefit. Until she got on Medicare I had no idea when she had seen a doctor for anything non-emergent. She is 67 and still working full time.

There are no choices she could have made differently. She did everything right. She went to college. She got a decent paying job in her field with benefits. Being a newspaper, she lived with deadlines and working all shifts and rotating holidays. When she was laid off, she looked for a job and collected what unemployment she could. 

She was willing to do all kinds of things even as a senior with lousy hips and some health issues. She has worked in a plant center, done call in customer service from home during the pandemic, worked in a photoshop. She sold her home and moved into another home with two people. Every single time she has been ahead, that ahead has disappeared, though no fault of her own.

My sister is not an exception friends. She is the rule, when it comes to low income retirees. I am sure all my readers can talk about someone who has run off and spent all their money and is now broke and or looking for help from family members.

 Those people made the wrong choices. But my experience is that they are not the norm. And life is not all about “living with your own choices”.

I do not feel guilty about where I am in life or how I got here. I enjoy my lifestyle. But I am unwilling to blame or judge others who are struggling and not in the same place. I would rather do what I can do to help them. Whenever I can. Wherever I can. Because life is not about us and them.

22 comments:

  1. Barbara, I wish every young woman could read what you have written. It speaks eloquently of what happens to many, many, many women. To be a woman in the U.S. is a dangerous situation.

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    1. Thank you but I'm unsure this is just a woman problem. What happened to my sister could as easily to a man. While more women that men are poor in retirement I'm not kicking men to the curb here.

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  2. Very thoughtful post. I've never married, but somehow made some very fortunate choices and my retirement has been comfortable. I'm not flying first class anywhere -- though I dream about the trips I see in catalogs -- but know that I have all that I need and really, want. I also know that a lot of it was luck and with a different choice or two, none of what I enjoy would have been possible.

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  3. I agree. I was fortunate to marry the right guy as a dumb 19 year old. I was fortunate that he worked 37 years at a place that not only had a great pension plan, but still has a "spouse's pension benefit". I never believed this would actually happen. I worked a public service job for 15 years and a regular (SS) job for 15 years, which is really a dumb move, but I get more money as his spouse than I would have with either PERS or Social Security. I have several friends who were downsized in the early 2000's. They too were unable to find full time employment at a decent wage or benefits. It was all they could do to stay above water. Most did not have any medical care until Obamacare or Medicare. At that point two discovered they were diabetic and several suffered from hypertension. I truly believe their continuing health issues were made worse by not seeking regular healthcare when they first developed these issues. Single, Divorced, Widowed Women have a hard road. And men, too.

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  4. Eloquently put. Those of us who are lucky enough to be comfortable shouldn't feel guilty, shouldn't blame anyone, should just try to help when and where we can. Amen.

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  5. I made all the right choices except one who would not allow me to work or go to school. When I divorced him, I was sunk. It has been so hard since. My ss and disability is $850, and life is hard most of the time.

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  6. Hi this is Chris, who comments on Sluggy’s blog sometimes. I wanted to say I thought this was very well written and gives interesting insights on what retirement will be like for some Baby Boomers. Thanks for writing about an important issue.

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    1. Thank you. And not just for boomers. I worry about my kids as well.

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  7. A powerful reminder that there are many who have needs--and many of us have the ability to help. If all of us simply reach out to those in our family and those in our neighborhood, it will make a big difference. Thanks, Barb!

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  8. This resonates so much for me. I was that single parent raising two kids on my own, in an industry that didn't provide many benefits. I did get my education later, and landed a good job and as a result I'm okay financially. Certainly not swimming in money but I'll be okay.
    My daughter has a degree, but is disabled and unable to work. She taught for seven years and has a small pension (very smally likely) but she will be like your sister as it becomes increasingly more likely she'll never be able to return to work.. As a result I find myself planning how I can support her even after I'm gone.
    Finally, I agree we need to care for one another. It costs far more when we don't.

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    1. In my case family looks out for each other. She's nor ready to move from my brother's house where she rents into an apartment but I have encouraged her to move closer

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  9. Bin had a similar sentiment in an earlier post. I too think we'll be comfortable in retirement but a lot was we both married well and had good luck. My sister is just getting by, though hers is mixed result. Some poor decisions, some bad and manipulative people in her life. She makes the best of things, and knows no one will let her go without.

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    1. The same with my sis. And I dont disagree that bad choices and or lack of knowledge hinder many. Including g me.

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  10. I thank the powers that be every day that we are where we are financially. We have helped our boys get 2 degrees each and both are working in jobs that they love. While one is at the top of his pay scale as a teacher, and the other is paid much lower, both have pensions and are saving little bits here and there.

    I do know some people (a friend included) that even though they can not afford things spend like they are still working and even borrow against their homes. Something that is wrong when you reach the age of 69 and 65....I worry that things could drastically change for them.

    God bless.

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  12. Barb, very well done and very thought provoking. I am blessed that I'm comfortable in retirement but know several livelong friends that made a wrong choice along the way. I worked in construction for most of my adult--without benefits--but I made one very good decision and made a career in the Army Reserve. I retired with a pension to add to my savings and my health care is covered. I tried to talk to many young men on my job sites into doing the same thing, but no takers. I am going to share this post with my nieces and nephews. Joe

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  13. I can so relate to this post. I went to college, got my four-year degree and had a great job as an educator, but there is no way I could have been able to afford to support myself without my husband's salary as well. It's a shame that people who work hard don't make a living wage. I am thankful that we are ok financially, but this could have very easily been me. Had I not married, I'd likely still be living at home with my parents, although contributing financially and helping with the chores.

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  14. Thanks for posting Barb. Very thought provoking.

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  15. I was fortune enough to start working (without even a AA degree) in the administrative office of a school district at the age of 21. I was required to pay both PERS & SS (only a couple handfuls of districts do in Calif). After about 7 years & one job promotion, I was at the top of my pay scale. At that point, I knew if I changed jobs, it would put me at the bottom seniority wise & I chose to stay. Never complained about salary, benefits or days off, as I knew I couldn't get anything close in private industry. I stayed where I was & retired after nearly 40 years. After collecting PERS & once I collect SS, it will be more than I made working.
    But I stuck it out in a job that I liked most of the time & hated the rest of the time. I have many friends who are living retirement check to retirement check, because they never worked in an industry to pay into retirement or they spent their retirement money to live. I worry for them,
    but they seem to have no problem asking friends to help pay the vet bill or a medical bill, when they've spent their money on vacations & fancy collectibles. Although we're both retired, we still spend conservatively, but are enjoying ourselves, one adventure at a time.

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