Thursday, February 22, 2018

Enbracing The Inter-generational In Retirement

The street I live on dead ends into an elementary school. While I am often not alert and responsive enough to be sitting in my window chair when kids are going to school in the morning, I do see children going and coming at noon from kindergarten. And depending on my schedule, I see the large afternoon exodus of children walking with their parents home as well as teenagers from near by elementary schools. Often said kids are chatting excitedly with parents, and sometimes even bickering amongst themselves as they walk down the street.

My street also feeds into a high school. Kids with licenses drive home from school on my street. Sometimes, honestly, they drive faster than they should over the "speed humps", and I hope to myself that the parents of said kids have made them responsible for their own repairs and insurance costs. The high school is on the hill, and especially during football season, we hear the sounds of marching bands, occasional fireworks that scare the dogs during pep rallies and from afar, the sometimes cheers depending on the wind and the weather. Once a year our streets are closed down for the entire day because said high school hosts a cross country track meet where folks come from states all around, and I need to plan to be home, or amuse myself elsewhere until the barricades are removed.

Across the street from me, is a house rented by a group of twenty somethings. For the most part these kids are quiet, as our their pets. Once or twice in the time we've lived here we've had to remind these young folk that the rest of us need our sleep a bit more than they seem to, and once, a year ago, we observed on of the kids having the be helped into the house after an obvious night of over partying.

Here's the thing. 90 percent of the time, we love this neighborhood. We love the differing ages, even those of the teens and tweens. We enjoy experiencing the ups (and the downs) of a neighborhood and lifestyle that includes folks of all ages. In fact, my only objection with this neighborhood is that while it is diverse in terms of age (and to some extent in income), it's the least diverse place ethnically that I have ever lived. And while I may grumble under my breath when the high school fireworks require the temporary drugging of my smaller dog, I would not give up the multi-generaltional aspect for anything-certainly not for moving to a nice, quiet, senior/adult/no child community-or any of the above.

Recently, I got my new Olli (senor college) book in the mail. It has some interesting courses. And for the cost, you cannot beat it, especially as compared to "regular college classes". I have loved many of the classes I've taken through Olli, don't get me wrong. Especially the Great Decisions and memoir writing classes. But truthfully, even though they were more expensive, I was MUCH more energized during those "regular" college classes that I took at the community college on art, philosophy, physical anthropology and even that required Texas history course. Not because they were better, or more advanced. But because there were people in each class ranging from sixteen (early college admission) to 63 (my age at the time), and in at least once class there were folks older than I.  And I have to tell you all, in some of those classes the insights from the younger students had more than a few of us "experienced types" sitting back and taking note.

To be clear, I'm not opposed to hanging around with folks of own age, as such. When I can get myself in gear (not as often as I would like), I hit the morning silver sneakers program where everyone in the class is my age or older-or close to it. My Wednesday knitting group is, while not made up all of people my age as such, generally a group of folks above fifty or so.

On the other hand, while my new second church has a "Young At Heart Group", that does bus outings and the like, I have deliberately not joined said group-and not just because I am on the younger side of the attendees. I have, however, jumped into the "Congregational Development" group, after research showed lowest numbers in the church are the twenty to thirty five group-because I know that the church, and all of us, will be energized by the presence of children and young people (and because my twenty something son would kill to find a church that actually had get together events for folks his age).

I am firmly in the camp that says that says remaining young and engaged is more about the mental than it is about the physical (this doesn't mean I don't believe in being healthy and active). And the best way to stay young and engaged is to hang out with folks of all ages. Including the young. Even when said young are noisy, argumentative, or occasionally self-centered. When I was young, I was ALL of those things-and if truth be told, still show those behaviors on more than one occasion.

As most readers know, I live with my son (in his late twenties) who returned to school to get a second bachelors degree. Next year, he'll be moving out. Looking to work in another state while going to grad school. I will miss him, and not just because he is "my kid". He is also an intelligent guy who has a different take on many things-things we sometimes disagree on, admittedly. Nevertheless, we are able to share different perspectives on a variety of issues and he presents alternatives that I (and my sister) might not recognize so easily if he were not here. 

Also, while he knows better than anyone else my level of chronic pain and difficulty doing the basic "bend and reach" among other things, he has a sense of humor and regularly makes fun of my handicaps. The last time we were shopping together, I got out of my car with the driver's side fully open for support (as I am wont to do and the main reason behind my handicapped sticker need). When it took me more than thirty seconds after said rise from the car, his first comment was "Really, do you need me to get you a scooter?" While I respect that many people including readers and friends need scooters and that it improves their lives, I am still at the "over my dead body" phase on that, which got me walking immediately, as he knew it would. Heck I've even changed my perspective on a couple "political" or neighborhood issues after hearing his perspective on how things affect him and young people his age.

The bottom line, if you will, is that life is meant to be lived. And I find that I live my life much better surrounded by and involved with people of all ages.  I  don't just mean family. A lovely young woman in my Next Door group has founded a dinner and craft group in her home with the crafters ranging from 20 to 70 and I plan to take advantage of said group whenever I am in town. The school down the road has fund raisers such as pancake breakfasts and such and on more than one occasion all the neighbors including the "old fogies" have gone down and joined in the fun. I participate in most of the "family events" at my first church like "Spookghetti" and the Spring Carnival not out of obligation but because I appreciate the joy of seeing young people, teenagers, children and everything in between having a roaring good time (sometimes at each other's expense!).

 My new next door neighbors are in their early thirties, renovating their first home and we have lovely conversations on walks and over the fence. Often when I travel alone, I deliberately choose hostels or other sleeping options where I know I will see folks of all ages and have a chance to interact. And when I attend this wedding, the one with the pink dress, I may even get my injured body up and dance. To all the music, be it pop, rock, or rap. 

Because after all, why not! This, to me is what life is all about.


3 comments:

  1. We live in a mixed generational neighborhood, too, and we love the variety and liveliness. But, oh, please don't remind me of what my daughter did to our car when she was in high school, bumping and clanking down the back dirt road to the high school. (I only found that out later; back then I just wondered why we had to replace the muffler and tail pipe twice in three years.)

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    1. My child, lord love her, ruined the gear shift on a totally new subaru Legacy wagon (as part of learning to drive) and said wagon and clutch died as a result in the Colorado mountains. I dont want to know what other driving disasters my kids have had, lol

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  2. We live on a very mixed ethnic and generation street. It keeps life interesting. For me a restricted community would be boring. OK, I hate to admit it but some older people are pretty negative and grouchy. I’m 65 and I don’t even want to be around them. Haha Really everyone is busy doing their own thing that really there are just a few older couples than my
    husband and I that socialize together. I love seeing kids heading off and returning from school. They have that carefree laugh that often changes over a lifetime.
    Kathy

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